I was pretty sure after dinner tonight, looking at the kitchen table, crumbs splayed like the carcasses of edible insects, that I’m a bad mother. Jacob ate the entire meal with a ski hat on. No one set cups, so halfway through the meal everyone started popping up like dandelions and sucking down water from Ikea bowls. Yeah, because all the glasses in the cupboard were dirty.
It’s been a week, and I keep reminding myself it’s been a week. There’s been full days of recipe writing and episode posting and article conjuring. It’s because of the holidays, right? I’m not otherwise this disheveled, right? I mean, normally, I’m heveled. I’m sure of it.
No, I’m not sure of it.
Because the kids ate off of the bare table tonight. No pretty, matching placemats. You use placemats at every meal, right? And there were three worn sneakers laying by the stove. I mean, three. Where was the fourth, and why was it not by the stove? Not to mention, when I finally begged my kids to clean the car in exchange for FunYun’s, they announced the discovery of dried Panda Express noodles all over the floor of the back seat, there since last Sunday.
There is no hope for my heveling.
Luckily, there is a way to soothe this bitter ache in my gut. The one that reminds me that I am–after all–a very human human, attempting most unimpeccably at times to walk four little people properly through this world. While somehow managing to do the very same for myself.
I mean, I totally posted an internet dating profile this week, and whoo dog. I did NOT know that many men over the age of 60 wore mustaches and messaged up unsuspecting women in their thirty-sixes. I’m both profoundly astonished by their courage and ever so lotsly horrified by their courage. Thanksbutnothanks.
More details on all that all later. But for now, since it’s officially official, and I have actually gone bananas as a mother this week, I decided to whip up a batch of 1-Ingredient Dole YoNana’s ice cream, and toss in some crushed cookies & cream fixin’s. Because Banana Cookies & Cream Ice Cream (the healthy way) is about all I got left in my arsenal of awesomeness this week.
Not a bad thing to have in one’s arsenal. So much better than stale noodles in the back of the car.
Confess! Unload thy parenting sins upon my heavily laden kitchen table. I’d love to hear that you, also, have children wearing ski hats while they eat Stuffed Peppers. That’s a thing, right?
I hereby bless you with heveling. The end.
2 Ingredient Dole Banana Cookies Cream Ice Cream
- 6 extremely ripe bananas peeled and frozen solid
- 8 chocolate sandwich cookies crushed
- Place frozen bananas in an industrial-strength blender, large food processor, or DOLE Yonanas maker.
- Blend until creamy. If using a blender, make sure you use the tamper tool to help the machine work it's way through the frozen bananas without overheating. Fold in crushed cookies.
- Serve immediately, or transfer to a freezer-safe container, if desired.
- Freeze until ready to serve.