People. I know you’re busy. I know you’ve got things to do and people relying on you. Hogwash.
There is nothing more important than you grabbing your keys, hightailing it to the grocers, and buying everything you need to make these burgers stat.
Yes, I said STAT. This is a Code Awesome and you need to heed my instructions. Stat.
Thing is, I can prove to you how awesome these burgers are by telling you a story.
I was working on a bunch of freelance recipes this morning. An upcoming post I’ve been assigned for Tablespoon is titled “Summer Vegetable Sandwiches.” So I kinda lobbed a bunch of summer vegetables into my shopping cart as the store this morning and was working on pulling them all together when I got this insane idea (downright looney cakes) to stuff a hunk of farmers cheese into a baby portabella mushroom, bread it all with panko, then cook it in olive oil over my new, pretty pretty Beka grill pan.
Do you see where this is going? Well, at the time I didn’t. I was just very nonchalant about it all.
Hmmm. Hope this works. Tablespoon will be glad to get it.
And then, good high and holy heck. I pulled those crisp-coated portabellas from the pan and there was that cheese. Good crimeny, that cheese.
Topped with tomatoes. And grilled peppered zucchini. And grilled, caramelized onions.
Suddenly I realized…Tablespoon wasn’t getting this recipe. No one was getting this recipe. I was stealing it back, eating the crap out of it, and posting it on Cheeky Kitchen. Maybe I get selfish when Basil Mayonnaise is involved. Duh.
Yes, I just said Basil Mayonnaise. B.a.s.i.l.M.a.y.o.n.n.a.i.s.e.
Hello? Are you there?
What?! You’ve already tucked your wallet in your purse and run like a mad woman to the store? Relief! I am so glad.
Because I didn’t want to do this to you. What a relief you won’t have to watch me eat. No one likes a person who rubs awesomness in their face.

Good Holy Heck Portabella Burgers
Ingredients
- 2 baby portabella mushrooms
- 2 thick slices soft Farmer's cheese
- 2 cups panko breadcrumbs
- 1/4 cup flour
- 1 teaspoon onion powder
- 1/2 teaspoon Italian seasoning
- 1/2 teaspoon salt
- 1/4 teaspoon cayenne pepper
- 1 egg
- 1 small zucchini sliced into ribbons
- 2 multigrain rolls
- 1 small onion thinly sliced
- 1/4 cup olive oil
- 2 fresh tomato slices
- 4 tablespoons vegan mayonnaise
- a bunch of fresh basil
Instructions
- Before preparing your burgers, prepare your Basil Mayonnaise by pulsing the basil and mayonnaise in a blender until smooth. Set aside.
- Wash the portabella mushrooms, then gently remove any portion of the stem remaining in the cap.
- Gently press a thick slice of Farmer's Cheese into the bottom part of the mushroom cap.
- In a medium, shallow bowl stir together the panko, flour, onion powder, Italian seasoning, salt, and cayenne pepper. In a second bowl, whisk an egg until well beaten.
- Dip the portabella (with that fabulous stuffed cheese) into the egg mixture, then into the panko breadcrumb mixture then back into the egg mixture, and back once again into the breadcrumb mixture.
- Heat a grill pan to medium/medium-high heat. Drizzle olive oil over the sliced zucchini and onions. Salt and pepper a bit to taste. Place the zucchini and onions into the heated grill pan. Cook until golden lines appear, flip and cook on the opposite side.
- Drizzle a bit of olive oil over the top (the rounded, non-cheese) side of the mushroom. Place the portabella top-side-down into the heated grill pan. Cook for 5-6 minutes, until the mushroom cap begins to soften.
- Drizzle a bit more olive oil over the bottom (which will now be up on the grill pan). Flip the portabella over (now the cheese side will be down in the pan). Cook just until golden brown then remove from the pan.
- Assemble burgers with portabella, sliced tomato, a stack of grilled zucchini and onions, and a heap of basil mayonnaise. Enjoy immediately.
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